Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, good night; wherever you are, whatever you are doing, whatever is on your mind, take a moment to be grateful for your life and whatever is in it.
Normally, I like to have some sort of theme to my posts, and often I try to have a lesson behind it. This time, however, I want it to be different. I haven’t written in a long time, and honestly I miss it! I’ve been very uninspired and lacking ideas, but I think it will be good for me to, for lack of better term, “word vomit” and just say what I’m thinking.
Being a senior in high school now, I’ve been swamped with a lot of responsibilities. I have to take the SAT in a little less than two weeks, I’m trying to fill out applications for college, compose a decent personal statement, tour colleges and ultimately decide on where I’m going to further my education next year. On top of that, I have to keep my GPA up this year so I can get into all the colleges I want, which means working extra hard to make sure I can get all A’s. Maybe I’m complaining too much, but anyone in my boat, or who has been recently, can understand that 12th grade is not an easy grade.
Of course, what is most important to me through this all, is my own wellbeing. I’m working on a post specifically talking about self love, but for now I’ll just say: Catholics need to practice self love as well! It’s very easy to get caught up in a servant’s attitude and neglect our own needs. Especially in my case, I tend to put others before me to a fault, which doesn’t exactly work out.
So this year, this is my project. How can I tend to my mental health needs while still meeting the expectations placed on me? How can I schedule time for work, friends, and leisure while still maintaining a healthy balance of the three? It hasn’t been easy. Struggling with anxiety and seasonal affective disorder has definitely made it even more difficult. But I sure am trying.
For example, I’m writing this right now. I could have been doing extra work for school, and granted that might have been a better use of my time, but I know that with Thanksgiving coming up, I’ll have plenty of time to catch up. I’m face timing with my best friend while she listens to new indie music and cleans her room. My own room is decorated for Christmas. I’m burning a vanilla scented candle. (I’m trying to paint a picture here.) Overall, it’s a very peaceful vibe, much needed after a long, stressful week.
I’m also trying to work on not holding myself to expectations that are too high. I have a tendency to expect only excellence from myself, even in situations in which its unreasonable. So even though I haven’t written anything fantastic and inspiring tonight, I’ve shared a piece of my life. Maybe in won’t get engagement, maybe no one will care to read it, but I’m writing this for me. I’m putting something out there to hopefully kickstart my inspiration again. So if you’ve made it this far, thank you!
I know this wasn’t like my usual posts, but hopefully those will be making a comeback sometime soon. Until then, God bless and Happy Thanksgiving!